It is not where you start, it is where you finish

Last night while shopping for last minute Christmas gifts with my daughter I ran into an old boyfriend whom I thought at one point I was going to marry.
I dated him for three years. In the beginning I wasn’t so keen on dating a man 13 years my senior, but he pursued me with beautiful cards, expensive dinners, gifts, and poems until I fell in love with him. He had a bit of an Oedipus complex and still lived with his parents (at 35 years old!!) His mother never thought I was good enough, she told me that I was ugly and didn’t have a good enough job. I was working as a wet chemist at a sewerage plant at the time and I hated my job as well. When I couldn’t continue on to Medical school due to my mother’s cancer crisis and my little 5 year old sister needing someone to care for her, I needed a job with benefits when I graduated college so I took it. It seemed to me once I really started to love him and become attached to him, he didn’t want me anymore. He was always so critical of me and I was always afraid to eat lest I gain any weight and afraid to speak my mind lest I offend. I never felt relaxed and when I was generous with someone he told me I was weak. My mother made sure I had zero self esteem so I was grateful I even had a long term boyfriend that had a good job and a college education. Yes I thought those things were important. The last draw was when I got pregnant and he looked at me with disgust and said, “I will tell my mother you trapped me, you stupid girl.” I was terrified, struggling to keep my apartment and pay my bills. I couldn’t face my parents and deal with the stigma of being an unmarried woman with a child so I panicked. I never thought it through I just scheduled an appointment for termination of the pregnancy and hurled a soul back into God’s face. After everything was done it started to sink in and I just wanted to die. I hated myself for being such a coward. I hoped God would punish me and never allow me to have another child. My heart still hurts every April thinking that I would have had a 16 year old son or daughter. I broke up with him shortly after because I hated him for abandoning me and pushing me to such an awful choice. He wanted to continue seeing me after the event and acted as if nothing happened. I just couldn’t look at his face anymore. When I ended things he thanked me and told me that I was never good enough for him and my job was an embarrassment to him and that I was too ugly. Well he was 5’ 6” weighed 135 lbs and was bald. Looking back at old pictures I was a goddess compared to him.
Anyway shortly after, I met my husband and fell in love right away because he was the only man I ever met that had the same kind and generous heart. The first time my friend introduced us he made a comment that I will never forget. He said that I reminded him of his sister. I asked if that was good and he said of course it is because she is smart and very beautiful. He loved me for me not for my face or my job, I was good enough for once in my life. He also gave me my precious daughter who is as sweet as she is beautiful. So as I stood in the aisle as this old bent man approached me I was shocked when he told me who he was and that he recognized me right away because I still looked the same 15 years later. He looked so sad, he had recently buried both parents and never married. He said that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he regrets everyday the pain he caused me and losing me. He had tears in his eyes when he looked at my daughter and spoke to her briefly about her holidays. I felt so bad for him I didn’t know what to say except to wish him the best. For years I wondered what became of someone that threw me away so easily and I wanted him to suffer for it. Seeing him such a state breaks my heart and I hope that he finds his own happiness one day.

Buenos Aires is so beautiful and the weather has been in the 70-80 F and cool in the evening.
My boss decided his asthma was too bad to sight see with me (due to the smog that is lingering here). Last night he gave me his business credit card and told me to go to the concierge to set up a tango lesson and have some fun. I was placed in a nice car that drove me to the Temple of Tango as it's known, El Viejo Almacén. It was truly a tourist destination. I was seated at a common table with other visitors and we were served a delicious dinner and watched the dancers. I asked when I was going to get my lesson. I was informed that after the dinner and the show the instructors would come out and lessons were included. The dancers were amazing the room dripped with sexual energy and I wanted to jump the guy sitting next to me. He was a hot Italian businessman but his uni-brow and extremely thick teeth threw me off a bit. From a distance he was gorgeous just like me !!! He kept staring at my breasts. They still look good and I am proud of them so I didn't mind I actually felt sexy!!
The moment of truth.......
The show was over and espresso served. The instructors assembled, men on the left and women on the right. I got one of the hottest teachers due to my younger age as I could walk faster than the others. Most of my fellow diners were over 60 and quite saggy!!! I was all set to get hot and heavy with the Tango as my excuse until Matias opened his beautiful mouth. Oh God the stench that flowed from his gut was like a dead raccoon rotting on the side of the road in the middle of summer. His breath made me throw up slightly in my mouth and you all know from reading my previous entries that my nose is very sensitive. So now add bile to the mix and you can guess I did not have such a good time. I guess eating all of that meat and thowing off millions of ketones affects the breath. This is one of the few times in my life I wish I couldn't smell. I tried to breath through my mouth only but it didn't work. I suffered through a few steps and claimed that I was too drunk to continue. I planned on getting a pitcher of Sangria as soon as I left the place. When he smiled and told me that he was free for the rest of the night I headed straight for the exit. I walked back to my hotel trying to get the stench out of my nose as I scolded it for being too sensitive. Bad Nose Bad Nose.

Well I will be getting on a plane at 10pm EST to head off to the land of Tango and Meat!
My little one is mad at me because I will be gone for one week aso I will be back in time for her birthday next Saturday. The time difference is only one hour so I won't have to worry about jet lag. I am sad, I don't want to leave my daughter. I am beginning to think that I have grown too attached. I used to travel so much when she was very little. I missed her then but this is different. Maybe our bond has grown stronger since we can communicate and share with each other.
I don't think I will tango or do anything fun because I will probably be on the phone running up a huge bill calling her while I eat room service. Will update if anything interesting happens I promise no more whining

I have been suffering with Hashimoto’s disease for about one year and I know it has been longer but it took quite awhile to get diagnosed. The reason for the delay was insensitive cruel doctors that treated me like less than a human because I was obese. I was never overweight until about three years ago when I started gaining more and more weight. I didn’t change my eating habits or stop exercising and I began to worry what was going on. I went on starvation diets etc. When I started falling asleep at my desk and couldn’t wake up in the morning I knew something was going on. Then my hair started falling out in clumps and I really started to panic. My best friend did reflexology on me and told me something was wrong with my thyroid. I kind of thought she was being kind blaming my girth on glands to make me feel better. I was referred to an endocrinologist by my primary doctor and he said, “You are morbidly obese, stop eating and you will get your energy back, there is nothing wrong with you.” He never ran any tests. He said my hair falling out was for a dermatologist to deal with. I went to a dermatologist and was told that there was nothing wrong and I needed to lose weight. I wanted to scream I know I am a fat cow but I don’t know why I can’t lose weight and why I feel so awful all the time. I was in such despair hating myself for being a failure until I met my acupuncturist. He was also an MD and he treated me like a human being not a fat worthless loser. He ordered a ton of tests and I was finally diagnosed after my body attacked and destroyed half of my thyroid. I had zero T3 and T4 (which basically fuel your metabolism). When Dr Steuber told me that I had a true medical issue and that was the cause of my weight gain, fatigue, and hair loss I broke down and cried. He started prescribing different doses of hormone replacements and four months ago. I think I am finally getting the right dose now. I still sometimes get raging fevers at night but my hair has grown in and I havelost 53 pounds (without even trying!!!) I will never forget the way I was treated and I have new found empathy for those people out there that can not lose the weight. I never judged anyone for the way they looked because as I have said before in many of my posts I am no beauty. The saddest thing is when you are fat, you are invisible, and when people do see you they look down on you like you are less of a person. Now at my job people I never had dealings with are approaching me in the hallway and telling me how wonderful I look and what am I doing. I want to say thanks I am glad you approve and I am acceptable now. It just makes me appreciate the friends, loved ones and colleagues who always respected me and saw past my layers of fat.

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to possible contagious diseases.

Sincerely,

P. Niss

THE RESPONSE:

Dear Mr. Niss,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
other locations

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working.

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.

You are often unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed
your assigned task.

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,

V. Gina

Let me start off by saying that I am behind the times when it comes to cell phones. My cell phone does not have a camera or access to the internet. It has simple numbers to dial like the original touch tone phones you plug into the wall. I have only two ring options. There are a few people in my life that used to talk to me and have conversations with me but now I guess I have fallen to their D list because they have reduced me to random texts here and there. Sometimes these texts require a response and in the beginning if my thumb was too tired to peck out a tedious response I would simple call the person to give them the answer. I would even leave a voice mail. They never picked up my calls and I know that they had their phone with them. It didn’t matter what the time of the day it was so the free minutes argument doesn’t hold water. I guess they have decided they just do not speak to me anymore. My insecurity starts in and the following thoughts go through my head: Is my voice offensive? Do I talk too much? Am I boring? I then get grounded and centered and remember that I am a good friend and I have many people that enjoy my conversations and look to me for a sympathetic ear. So the clods that have reduced me to text only can take their phones and their fancy keyboards and shove them up their a**. I don’t need to be talked at. If you want to contact me in the future call me.
Is it just me?? Has anyone else experienced the text only phenomenon??