It has been 9 months since I saw my lover. He called me this past Saturday which I suppose prompted the previous post. He obtained my phone number from a mutual friend. It was strange speaking to him. He gave me the same story about how he still loved me and dreamed of me. How he is miserable without me. I finally told him how little I thought of him. I listed all of the hurtful things he had done and finally told him that I wish he never approached me that day in June. He couldn’t believe that I was done with us. (Changing my phone number and not speaking to him for 9 months should have been enough of a clue!) He used the same manipulation speech that always ended up with me back in his arms. I thanked him for the effort and told him that I would be blocking his number when we hung up. I asked him to let me live in peace. He cried and told me I was cold and cruel. I corrected him and told him I was finally lucid and stable and unwilling to give my sanity over to someone who fucked me when it was convenient. I also told him that the price for an orgasm was too high and that tranquility and simplicity was all I craved. Yoga, meditation and Qi gong have brought me so much inner-peace that sex is really not something I miss anymore. I also told him that if we ever had a “real “ relationship we would end up terribly because we were too much alike. My husband is the yin and I am the yang. He is weaker and I am stronger. He lets me be in control and I thrive on it. My lover’s wife is a weak and can not hold a job. He needs her because she is less and he is not threatened by her. Most marriages that last are the same.
There needs to be a give and take. The crazy fantastic lust never stays once the mundane everyday life kicks in.