I was with him for 5 years. The last draw was he asked me to take the day off from work so we could be together all day without work interruptions. I juggled my schedule and made the 1 ½ hour drive up to where he lived and was excited for a wonderful leisurely day. Well we were together just two hours and his cell phone started ringing and all of a sudden he had to go back to work for something. He said that we could grab something to eat before he went to work so I followed him to a restaurant and as we were waiting to be seated he asked if he could have lunch with me another time. It was if he couldn’t get away fast enough that he got what he wanted. I later learned that he never took the day off he told his boss that he had a doctor’s appointment. He fucked up my entire day and couldn’t even share a meal with me. I decided that I was done with his selfish bullshit and he could find himself another whore. At least she would get paid for her time. I feel as though I have my life back. No more frenzy waiting for his calls and traveling and lying for a few hours. I lost my focus on the now and living. I have so much peace now no more turmoil and anger and sadness. I used to cry at my desk thinking of why I couldn’t be with my supposed soul mate. Why??? I was willing to leave my husband and make a life with him yet he was too much of a coward to leave the wife who trapped him into marriage with a false pregnancy. He came to me and professed his love first and pursued me. Again I ask why? I was fine in my coma. He had to wake me up for what? I recently listened to the Song August and September by The The, whom I love by the way. It was so similar to what he was to me. How many times did I walk away and go back? Too many times, I believed all of the beautiful sentiments and the compliments and the deep conversations about our destiny etc, etc. I remained for five years the dark little secret and the Polish princess stayed in her ill gotten castle spending his money and not working. I guess she was more attractive and an acceptable trophy to be seen with.
Here are the lyrics, even now when I hear the song it still makes me a bit sad:

August and September

Suddenly last summer
I started going out of my head
In a tiny hotel room
Lying naked on a bed
I knew what you were doing, and I knew what you'd done
Your life with me was ending, your new life had begun
But I was cursing your name, and I was cursing that room
And I was praying for the strength to stop loving you

I started writing you the letter
Which turned into the book
I was gonna reach across the ocean
and force you to look

But what kind of man was I?
Who would sacrifice you happiness to satisfy his pride
What kind of man was I?
Who would delay your destiny to appease his tiny mind

Then you came back to me and I went down on one knee
With a glint in my eyes and a rose between my teeth
And I pushed out my tongue for you to see
That I'd been dying of a thirst for your company
Then you quenched my loneliness with your tears
And our clothes fell away as we rolled back the years
But we couldn't deny it because we could not admit it
If our love was too strong to die
Or we were just too weak to kill it
Was our love too strong to die?
Or were we just too weak to kill it?

Every moment in that room
I closed my eyes in prayer
Every moment I awoke
I clenched my teeth in prayer

What kind of man was I?
Who would sacrifice your happiness to satisfy his pride
What kind of man was I?
Who would delay your destiny to appease his tiny mind

Who could delay your destiny to appease his aching swollen pride
Who could delay your destiny to appease his screaming little mind

You're mine (Not anymore)