It is not where you start, it is where you finish

My brother dropped by last night and asked my daughter if she wanted to make the
best dessert in the world. She dropped her jump rope and charged into the kitchen after him and his grocery bag full of ingredients.
He told me that he just got back from a B&B at the beach and they served this dish
at breakfast and he couldn't get enough of it so he brought their cook book and wanted to try it himself. It only took 5 minutes to throw together and 15 mins to bake. We made two batches and they were gone before the night was over! The bananas were warm and the marchmallows were toasted and crisp on the outside. We added a small scoop of vanilla ice cream to each serving. My daughter had three servings!
Here is the recipe:

Needed:
One glass round 9 inch baking dish
3 large ripe bananas (5 small)
2 tablespoons of brown sugar
1 handful of miniature marshmallows
2 cups of corn flakes
2 tablespoons of butter

1. Grease the baking dish with butter
2. Slice bananas and spread them out in the bottom of the dish
3. Sprinkle the brown sugar on top of the bananas
4. Next add the marshmallows
5. Take a pan and melt the remaining butter in it and then toss the cornflakes
in the melted butter to coat them.
Spread them on top of the banana mixture and place in a 350 F oven for 15 minutes.

Best when it is warm.
Enjoy

Ballet is done Swan Lake was a beautiful triumph for the company and my daughter shined like the little star she is. She was offered an audition at the Kirov ballet academy in Washington DC along with three other students. We go at the end of July for measuring and audition. They teach the famous Vaganova method. I researched it and many of the students go on to have amazing careers so we will see. Can't aford the 42,000.00 tuition but was told if she is accepted it would be on scholarship but she would have to board there. I don't think I could live without her though.
Choir is finished at Westminster Conservatory and the concert was so lovely I cried almost the entire time. I am such a wimp! Their voices sound like such tiny angels though I just can't help myself.
My sister's wedding shower went over without a hitch and she was so happy and surprised.
Her condo is now complete with two wine coolers and enough liquor glassware to host a party of 100! I guess no one thought of cookware and other necessities.
My pool is finally open and ready for the June 20th end of school year bash.
I am tired I need a vacation!!!!

Today was International Target day. Four of us get together in a conference room and smell different lots of the same material and pick out the best one. The number one sample is designated as the Gold Target and is poured into tiny sample bottles to be shipped out to our different affiliates around the world. Lots of various orange oils from 10X, 5X, terpeneless etc. were evaluated and the room had such a lovely lingering smell. I knew it wouldn’t last when the onion oil along with the methional (smells like rotting potatoes), ethyl butyrate (filthy socks), and methyl mercaptan (burnt to hell coffee)were waiting for their time under our noses. Sometimes I can’t believe the vile chemicals that are used to make flavors, some if smelled neat actually make you gag. This only happens when we are too lazy to make a 10 ppm solution in ethanol. We are lazy so we make sure our stomachs are empty during the evaluations. 

I love my target partners because we tell our crazy stories and vent our frustrations to one other in between sniffs. We also love to rip apart the QC lab downstairs when we come across an atrocious sample that they approved. The battle with the QC manager results in her denying everything and telling us she can’t see what’s wrong with the sample.
I know you are not experts but do you think wintergreen oil should smell like petrol?

Today K told us her husband is now living in Florida in a 55 and over community. She said she was relieved to be rid of him and that she couldn’t divorce him because of various financial reasons. We never knew that she was unhappy in her marriage she is such a positive and happy person never complaining. I guess the onion oil helped the tears out. After a good cry, she asked T. to pass her the bottle of food grade 190 proof ethanol (that we were supposed to use to make the dilutions with). She added a bit to her juice gave us a wink and was back to chattering and laughing.
Hmmm Have a nice weekend!!!!!

Well got through another holiday and the weather was more like January cold with strong winds. I hid the eggs throughout the house and a few got stepped on during the "hunt". Coffee and chocolate was my breakfast along witha crushed egg. Got in the care and drove 5 hours to my brothers house in Massachusettes and it is even colder up here! He just finished building his house all by himself and it is absolutely amazing! I am now on his computer writing this while he sleeps. We are off to a casino world in the mountains tomorrow. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.

Well my day yesterday could not have been better. After work I headed to Princeton for rehearsal and was surrounded by the angelic voices of the choir as I played the Faure Requiem with the rest of the musicians. The acoustics were terrific so I can't wait until Friday when we perform the entire piece straight through. The solo tenor was not only extremely talented but hot as hell and he was standing right next to me during his section. I had so many fantasies I lost my place and had to ask my fellow horn player what measure we were on and she gave me the look of I know what you are thinking. Afterwards headed out for drinks with my brother and sister. We sat down in the bar and they ordered a slice of cake and drinks. Well the whole parade of servers came out and sang an awful birthday song I wanted to crawl under the bar. Once they walked away my sister then broke into her opera voice (with full vibrato) and sang the entire song once again. Yes her voice is beautiful and powerful and filled the entire space but my God everyone stopped and stared our way and when she was done broke out in full applause. I really wanted to die and she then said make a wish! I promptly wished out loud that I wished that I wasn't there and everyone laughed. The whole night was so much fun with the exception of my brother's wife. What a bore! She sat there stone faced sipping her hot tea glaring at the boisterous lot of us. After trying to coax her into our conversations, we just ignored her. The music was loud but once in awhile between sets it got quite quiet. The first time my brother asked my sister why she wasn't drinking and as she hollered "Can't drink when you are on crazy pills." once again all eyes were on her with a look of Ahhh so that's why she sang her opera birthday song. (She has bi-polar disorder and can not drink with her medication.) Trust me she doesn't need to drink!! She was visibly embarassed that the entire room heard her so my brother being a sweet brother waited the next lull in music and stated loudly that he was thinking of getting his balls laminated! This time everyone laughed and started to approach us as we seemed to be the life of the party. I met and talked to so many people and was provided many birthday drinks. I had to give most of them away as I have no tolerance for alcohol. The rest of the night was a blur. I do remember allowing a patron to feel my breasts because I wanted to prove to him that they were real. I guess a woman with a natural 38G cup is rare! My head is killing me today and it hurts when I laugh but I can't wait to do it again.

Spring is showing it's lovely colors and my garden is filled with bright colors. My father's chemo is finished and last PET scan was clean. He is looking better than ever thanks to his little holistic slave!! He is back home now and preparing for the pork festival that is the Polish/Hungarian Easter tradition. Three kinds of kielbasi, ham, babka, and sweet homemade custard. He is not supposed to eat any of it but he said he would not break his tradition. He is back to his old self and I need this holiday to get back to normal so no more lectures until next week!!

I will be at rehearsal tonite getting ready for the Good Friday performance of the Faure Requiem Mass at the Methodist church in my town. Raised a Catholic, Good Friday is usually a silent mass void of music and singing with the church stripped down and looking quite sad and empty. I am looking forward to participating in another church and enjoying the lovey choir performing such beautiful music. The added bonus is that I am getting paid!!!

My tiny angel is getting ready for her performance with the American Reperatory Ballet Company's performance of Swan Lake and she is so excited. I am happy she loves the arts as much as I do. I have been accused of not allowing her to do "real sports" such as soccer, tennis etc. But I have signed her up paid the fees and she has dropped out every time. This past summer at soccer camp she got in the car and said, "Mommy if you made me run and stay in the hot sun for four hours you would be in jail for child abuse!" Needless to say we never went back to the fields or turf. The comfort of the air conditioned ballet studio with it's polished mirrors and bars was missed too much.

Well today I am 39 and when I looked in the mirror this morning I noticed that when my face is still lined and smashed from sleeping I am starting to look a bit like a gargoyle!! I have always feared aging and shunned the sun and drank very little to preserve my skin. This morning I realized that no matter how many creams and ointments I apply each night, I will wrinkle and I will look my age. I have always been complimented on my skin and mistaken for someone much younger but those days are numbered. I am no longer a Miss when being waited upon in the shops. I was always against plastic surgery but now I am not so sure!

I am happy to report that in the midst of all of my trials and tribulations fate smiled on me and my little one last night. Last week while I was driving my daughter home from school she wrote down some numbers and she said, "Mommy I want you to play the lottery with my numbers, I know we are going to win." I never dismiss my daughter as she has displayed many psychic gifts in the past so we went to the local quickmart and I filled out the card for the guy and wanted to submit 5 tries and in error filled her numbers out twice. I went home with them in my purse and forgot that the drawing was on Saturday as we were in the city having fun all weekend. Last night my daughter asked me if I checked the numbers and we went straight to the computer and as I was checking I was shocked to see that she got three numbers out of 5 as well as the power ball. We won 100 dollars for each of the sets of her numbers!!! As we picked up the money I told her that it was going straight into her bank account. She smiled and said, "No mommy lets keep it so we can have fun together." I love my angel she is such a light in my life with or without money.
Thanks God!!!

Sorry everyone I have neglected my blog, I bet no one noticed!
I suffered a terrible loss on Christmas Eve and most of my holidays
were consumed making funeral arrangements. He was such a good friend
and so young. My heart is still breaking for him. He was sick for so long
and he held my hand as he said goodbye. His family abandoned him because
he was not acceptable, his lover had better things to do then nurse him.
I had Christmas early for him in his hospice room and made all of my friends
come and give him tons of love and light. He had so much Reiki that day he said
he felt as though he was already floating in the universe. As he left he smiled at me
and my Lizzy as she snuggled by his side. His last words will I will always watch over
you both and thank you for seeing me off on my next adventure in the sky. Then he smirked and said you know those male angels are hot!! Farwell G I will always hold you in my heart. You know my heart really hurts I can't wait for time to heal this wound. All of my friends blogs have cheered me so thank you for still being here. I wish you all wonderful things this new year! XXOO

Last night while shopping for last minute Christmas gifts with my daughter I ran into an old boyfriend whom I thought at one point I was going to marry.
I dated him for three years. In the beginning I wasn’t so keen on dating a man 13 years my senior, but he pursued me with beautiful cards, expensive dinners, gifts, and poems until I fell in love with him. He had a bit of an Oedipus complex and still lived with his parents (at 35 years old!!) His mother never thought I was good enough, she told me that I was ugly and didn’t have a good enough job. I was working as a wet chemist at a sewerage plant at the time and I hated my job as well. When I couldn’t continue on to Medical school due to my mother’s cancer crisis and my little 5 year old sister needing someone to care for her, I needed a job with benefits when I graduated college so I took it. It seemed to me once I really started to love him and become attached to him, he didn’t want me anymore. He was always so critical of me and I was always afraid to eat lest I gain any weight and afraid to speak my mind lest I offend. I never felt relaxed and when I was generous with someone he told me I was weak. My mother made sure I had zero self esteem so I was grateful I even had a long term boyfriend that had a good job and a college education. Yes I thought those things were important. The last draw was when I got pregnant and he looked at me with disgust and said, “I will tell my mother you trapped me, you stupid girl.” I was terrified, struggling to keep my apartment and pay my bills. I couldn’t face my parents and deal with the stigma of being an unmarried woman with a child so I panicked. I never thought it through I just scheduled an appointment for termination of the pregnancy and hurled a soul back into God’s face. After everything was done it started to sink in and I just wanted to die. I hated myself for being such a coward. I hoped God would punish me and never allow me to have another child. My heart still hurts every April thinking that I would have had a 16 year old son or daughter. I broke up with him shortly after because I hated him for abandoning me and pushing me to such an awful choice. He wanted to continue seeing me after the event and acted as if nothing happened. I just couldn’t look at his face anymore. When I ended things he thanked me and told me that I was never good enough for him and my job was an embarrassment to him and that I was too ugly. Well he was 5’ 6” weighed 135 lbs and was bald. Looking back at old pictures I was a goddess compared to him.
Anyway shortly after, I met my husband and fell in love right away because he was the only man I ever met that had the same kind and generous heart. The first time my friend introduced us he made a comment that I will never forget. He said that I reminded him of his sister. I asked if that was good and he said of course it is because she is smart and very beautiful. He loved me for me not for my face or my job, I was good enough for once in my life. He also gave me my precious daughter who is as sweet as she is beautiful. So as I stood in the aisle as this old bent man approached me I was shocked when he told me who he was and that he recognized me right away because I still looked the same 15 years later. He looked so sad, he had recently buried both parents and never married. He said that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he regrets everyday the pain he caused me and losing me. He had tears in his eyes when he looked at my daughter and spoke to her briefly about her holidays. I felt so bad for him I didn’t know what to say except to wish him the best. For years I wondered what became of someone that threw me away so easily and I wanted him to suffer for it. Seeing him such a state breaks my heart and I hope that he finds his own happiness one day.